But what a palaver last week was, huh? All this "
Becky With the Good Hair" talk. I can tell you that I know where that comes from. It's not racist talk in my book but it does relate to race-- internalised racism. Us black girls grew up with a lot of insecurities -- we internalised a lot of 'ish which is all predicated on our internal makeup and DNA and which pushes forth to our external selves. For example, we heard growing up that the best hair, the nicest hair, the "good hair" was straight and silky and long. And boy did we struggle with the hair pressers and the Revlon and the weaves to aspire to "good hair". When we looked in the mirror and watched TV we struggled to understand how we could merge the mirror image with the TV/media dictates. We struggled to be accepted as beautiful, as good as...by grandmothers, by our bosses, by our men. Even as we designed hair styles that could make our daily lives easy and strived to be "professional" according to white work place/office standards, all we heard was that our hair, our twists, our cornrows and plaits, our weaves, our wigs were unprofessional, janky, unnatural, too natural, ghetto, too ethnic, too black, too white, too coconut. And now here we are: white girls are rocking braids, twists, wigs, weaves and cornrows like they were the first to do so and they get complimented, they are elevated as style icons. Good for them. But
don't forget the struggle, don't forget that some little girls are still struggling, don't forget that when black girls did it, we were "ghetto"...
But you know what: I finally got to a place where I decide for myself what my hair means. Some of it came from learning: in high school I had a principal who told us that good hair is clean hair-- no matter the texture or the length, good hair is clean hair. FULL STOP. The "Becky with the good hair" speech comes from a place of insecurity, push back and mayhap acceptance for us girls who now accept that we can wear locs, wear our hair natural, rock an Afro or put in a weave that would make Rapunzel look like she ain't trying. And also, if your gentleman or your gal pals do not like or understand your internal and external struggles, your method of acceptance, then they are quite welcome to move on to a woman who never had to struggle-- in other words, they can call "
Becky with the good hair". But at the end of the day, when you are a grown woman who has internalised, pushed back, understands and moved on, it doesn't mean you are insecure when you want to twist your hair into submission. It means you can do whatever you want! Don't be embarrassed or be shamed by anyone for rocking a Diana Ross weave. Be fabulous! Hair does not define you! It's just hair-- even when you buy it by the pound, loc it, twist it, colour it blue or blond, blow dry and press it into submission, weave it with Malaysian Curly 6B or rock the 'Fro or struggle with the Jamaican Castor Oil until it swells into a glorious halo about your head. What am saying is: DO YOU! Have fun, be chic, look young, look mature, elegant, make like Tina Turner or Diana Ross or Crystal Gayle or Rita Marley. Be Goddess-like. You're a grown woman, you can do whatever you want.
As for me, this summer everything looks like it will be
Boho. And it all looks absolutely fetching. The one thing I am looking forward to wearing is a head wrap. And outside of Africa, the one woman that does a head wrap like nobody's business is Ms. Erykah Badu. I hope all you girls get in on the style. Also, don't even think because you're white you can't wrap your tresses. In my book, there is no racial monopoly on style.
You're a grown woman, you can do whatever you want.
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